Christian discernment is not the same as decision making. Reaching a decision can be straightforward: we consider our goals and options; maybe we list the pros and cons of each possible choice; and then we choose the action that meets our goal most effectively. Discernment, on the other hand, is about listening and responding to that place within us where our deepest desires align with God’s desire.

Henri Nouwen, Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life.

In my youth I was blonde and free-spirited and received quite a few marriage proposals which I basically blew off.  After all, I was on an adventure with God and the world that didn’t include marriage!  After working in Asia and still unmarried in my late 30’s, I was going to school to return to teach. A fellow classmate became a good friend and we helped each other on various projects. It became obvious that he was pursuing me, so I quickly tried to blow him off saying, “Don’t fall in love with me, I’m going to China!” Yet I slowly started listening to the voice of God and close friends and paying attention to the signs opening the path of life partnership.  On the advice of a mentor, I took a weekend of silence and prayer to listen for God’s voice on the matter, and received a confirming Word from Scripture. With this and the affirmation of important people in my life, I decided to say “OK!” and off “we” went on Adventurous Obedience!

The Big Decisions in life like marriage, having children, finding a job or a home give us pause, reflection, anguish, and lots of late-night talks with our favorite people. Decision making can follow a rational course of pros and cons, lists or following a gut feeling. For those who seek to follow God in their everyday life, there is a need for more than a how-to guide for making decisions, but a spiritual practice of “discernment,” recognizing and responding to the presence of God.

The practice of discernment is developed with a lifetime of day to day attentiveness to the voice and presence of God, holding fast to God, to the truth and goodness of God’s Word, and to a discerning community of Christ.

1. Hold fast to God.  Sit in God’s Love. Listen for God’s Voice. Choose Life.

Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 

Discernment helps us to distinguish between what is good, what moves us toward God and our calling and what is drawing us away from life-giving connection and our most authentic self in God.

Reflect. Look back on your day or week. Notice what has been life affirming and what is energy draining. Be attentive to these and choose life.

2. Hold fast to Words of Life.

 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.  Phil 2:16

We can easily be influenced by our culture and the thinking of the media, but we must choose to hold fast to what is truth and goodness.

As discerning people, we sift through our impulses, motives, and options to discover which ones lead us closer to divine love and compassion for ourselves and other people and which ones lead us further away. Henri Nouwen. 

Reflect. How can I listen to the Word of Life through good Biblical teaching, podcasts or books, that would help me discern where my deepest desires align with God’s desires? What things am I listening to that are negative and draining, distracting me from shining as light in my world?

Do I hold fast to my integrity even in difficult circumstances? (See Job 2:3; 27:6)

3. Hold fast to Community.

Respect those among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you…admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all…Hold fast what is good. 1 Thess 5:12-21 

Hold Fast is also a nautical term that inspires sailors to hold securely to the ships rigging to stay strong and true even in the midst of a storm. The understanding among sailors is that when on deck, you dedicate a hand for the ship and a hand for yourself. A ship needs every member to take care of themselves so they can also help their shipmates. Each person must secure one hand to the ship, ready to take on the waves and use the other hand to help others.

Reflect. Our culture urges us to keep our options open, to be free to not commit and avoid risk or danger. At what point does this freedom keep us from holding fast, choosing what is good for the sake of our family or community? Is there someone you respect who can encourage you in choosing what is good, to secure yourself in your faith so you can reach out freely to let a hand to others?

Hold fast to the Spirit and Truth of God, secure in the knowledge that we also are being held fast by the God who knows us and loves us.

Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139 NIV

.

Practice. The Daily Examen is a technique of prayerful reflection on the events of the day in order to detect God’s presence and discern his direction for us. 

The Daily Examen