Every day I look out my window and watch neighborhood birds, walkers with their dogs, and our neighbor’s prowling cat. One day our neighbors came and said their cat was missing and his collar tracker last showed him at our house.  We opened the garage, searched under the cars, looked around the house, and completely searched our yard and shrubbery. No cat. 

They continued to frantically search the neighborhood and the disappearance became a disturbing mystery.  That night at 4am, we heard one meow, that seemed to be coming from outside our bedroom window in the back yard.  We got up and searched again in the house and outside. Nothing.

The next day we went out of town to visit family and came back home in the evening.  At midnight there was again one loud meow, and this time we knew the cat was in our house. We searched under the couches and finally found him under the guest room bed.  His grateful owners came and took him home and I haven’t seen him outside since.

The two nights with one lone meow each left me a bit traumatized, not out of fear, but wonder at how we missed the silent cat hiding under the bed. He never made a sound, scratched at the door to get out, or showed himself for 24 hours, so not being a cat owner, it just didn’t occur to me that he was in the house. In fact, we really were misdirected to search elsewhere thinking something happened outside and the tracker was lost in the yard. Yet he was in the house, hiding under the bed.

A Lenten Examen

This powerful real-life image opened a deeper meaning for self-examination during this season of Lent, the solemn Christian season of repentance, and return to God. My prayer is that the Spirit of God will open the eyes of my heart to what is hidden, acknowledging my brokenness and returning home to God’s love and mercy.

REFLECT on God’s Word.

Read John 15:1-4. I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

Jesus, the true vine, my source of life. I choose to be present with you, following in loving obedience.

Father, the gardener, shaper of my life, I surrender to your pruning, take what is keeping me from living in freedom and joy.

Holy Spirit, the helper sustainer of my life, I seek direction and courage from the Word of God to live out your truth.

PRAYER of Self Examination.

Search me, O God and know my heart! Test me and know my anxious thoughts! See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

I ask you O Lord, to point out anything that I have kept hidden

that offends you.

Show me where to look.

Spotlight the thoughts and plans in the shadows of my heart. 

I want to know myself through your understanding.

Let me see my mixed motives, fragile faith, and stubborn ways.

 O Lord, Give me courage to open my heart and allow you to find me,

rescuing me with your forgiving love.

PRACTICE. The Daily Examen is a powerful prayer practice that keeps our hearts open to gratitude, to noticing where God is at work in our day, to reflect on where we have disobeyed God or responded to others in hurtful ways, and to let the day go, in rest and peace, preparing for the day ahead. Use the link for a helpful video to start this practice.

The Ignatian Examen